Volume 28 Issue 4

Top Ten

Top Ten Items We Found in the Fridge After Returning from Winter Break

Written by: The MQ

10. Another, smaller fridge9. Our dead wife8. A cup of drug-free pee7. Laika’s exploded remains6. Our roommate who hid there all break to get the $650 …

ArticlesNews

Thespians Claim COVID Immunity As They Are “Really Good At Pretending They Don’t Have It”

Written by: Karina Yu

“The only jab I’ll get is behind the curtain,” said the actor playing Polonius.Photo by Sharon Roth Last December, the Actors Association of America (AAA) released a …

Top Ten

Top Ten Uncommon Hazards to your Health

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Uncommon Hazards to your Health FNAF lore Week 10 midterms Deodorant Expired Brita filter water Items branded for women that have no reason to …

ArticlesCampusNews

Student Locked Out of Dorm in Solidarity with MLB Players

Written by: Theo Erickson

“If you can’t let me in, can you at least buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack?” asked Lohmann.Photo by Julia Wong First-year communications major June …

Briefs

Escaped Lab Mouse Takes up Residence in Seventh College Elevator

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

Escaped Lab Mouse Takes up Residence in Seventh College Elevator Last Friday, first-year Seventh College student Christopher Crumbs reported seeing a mouse on one of the …

ArticlesCampusNewsTech

UCSD Announces Virtual Classes To Be Held in the Metaverse

Written by: Julia Wong

“Many of you have asked about a grading curve,” said one professor. “Well let me introduce you to a product that keeps YOURcurves in top condition.”Photo …

Features