Volume 27 Issue 2
Bowling Balls to No Longer Be Made With Chocolate Center Starting in 2021
Healthy eating advocates support the change, claiming: “Less chocolate is right up our alley!”Photo by Jack Yang The storied sport of bowling rolled into a new era …
Political Science Class Constructs Left-leaning Tower of Piazza
Political Science Class Constructs Left-leaning Tower of Piazza A Piazza forum formed by students of POLI 104A to discuss class materials has recently been identified to …
Funeral Held for Dead Fish
The service was shitty
New Research on Whale Sharks Revealed to be “Gentile Gentle Giants”
After praying to the golden calf, the whale sharks were seen engaging in whole-hog BBQ.Photo by Sharon Roth Researchers at UCSD’s Scripps Institute of Oceanography have made …
Local Woman Rage Quits Over Van Incident
Local Woman Rage Quits Over Van Incident This past weekend, local congresswoman Chessy Bengal held a rally for the upcoming election in hopes to secure a …
Senator Binks Resigns
Embroiled in sex scandal
Denny’s Twitter Account Granted Human Rights
The ruling has redefined what it means to be human, causing many to have “eggsistential crises.”Photo by Sharon Roth The landmark Supreme Court ruling ‘Denny’s v. Thomas’ …
“World’s Best Grandma” Card Written in 2007 Still Holds Up
“World’s Best Grandma” Card Written in 2007 Still Holds Up In 2007, Meghan Cax, who was six years old at the time, wrote a card for …
Favorite Children’s Book Author Revealed to be Objectively Horrible Person
“Who knew that the man who conceived a world where native Oompa-Loompas are taken from their homes to serve a white businessman was actually racist?” exclaimed …
