Volume 27
Impossible Foods to Release “Horrifyingly Realistic” Human Meat
“Impossible Flesh is great, but I kind of miss putting a real dude’s meat in my mouth,” remarked one customer.Photo by Jack Yang Following their successful reproductions …
Student Spends Four Years Studying Sugar Production, Finally Granulates
Kirby-Newkirk has been criticized for not double majoring in glucose and fructose, stopping him short of a disaccharide.Photo by Maria Dhilla After four years of painstaking theoretical …
Local MILF Willing to “Risk it All” for One Night of Dining Out at Rubio’s Coastal Grill
“We could go wherever you’d like: Rubio’s, Del Taco, Taco Bell, Third Base,” remarked Kooter.Photo by Sharon Roth Described by her stepson, Britchard, as having the “toned …
UCSD Professor Holds Office Hours Days After Exam, Considered for Position in CAPS
In the syllabus, Professor Weyting stated: “If these office hours don’t work for you, let’s meet never.”Photo by Jack Yang UCSD Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) has …
Environmentalist Worried After Interest Surges in New Cryptocurrency: KermitCoin
“I thought I was buying the dip,” said @TheOmniEagle, “but turns out it wasn’t easy being green.”Photo by Jack Yang From shopping to entertainment, digital technology has …
Local Scrabble Champion Outraged: “If Marijuana is Legal, Proper Nouns Should Be Too”
Moms have been concerned that this scrabble will lead kids to dabble in more complex word games.Photo by Maria Dhilla The legalization of marijuana has been making …
Susan’s Foolproof Bagels
Gluten Tag! Welcome to the latest edition of Susan’s mostly-baking-but-really-just-a-venting-session Baking Blog where she tackles Bagels (and the encroachment of loneliness into her life)
Video Game Journalist Learns to Jump During Final Boss Battle
Lee stated, “This game’s characters are so hard to follow. I don’t know who to pick — Singleplayer or Co-op?”Photo by Jack Yang While working on a …
Oh the Places You’ll Go! (After You Move Back In with Your Parents)
As I look out upon my novelty calendar featuring inspirational cat photos, I am reminded that I have not a fortnight before I don my gown …
Italian Populace Celebrates 25 Years Since the Eruption of Pompeii
“Magma mia, that’s a spicy volcano!” said Giuseppe.Photo by Sharon Roth Historical anniversaries are often met with mixed emotions, but the tragic eruption that occurred in Pompeii, …
