Volume 26
Top Ten Reasons Your Independent Movie Flopped
Top Ten Reasons Your Independent Movie Flopped It portrayed an R-rated scene with puppets You made it free to download, so everyone thought it was a …
Local Student Seeks to Learn Who Gerry Mandering Is
Quill later wanted to find out who “All” was and why they should get Medicare.Photo by Jack Yang First-year ERC student Tara Quill, after just now realizing …
Warren Dining Hall Reopening Delayed by Raccoon Takeover
Despite concerns that the new food being served would be contaminated by rabies, various Warren students said that had always been a concern.Photo by Jack Yang The …
New Trump Healthcare Program Supplies Public With Healing Crystals
Doctors are encouraging patients to look at their prescribed crystals at least twice a day.Photo by Jack Yang In January 2020, the Trump administration will roll out …
Campus Squirrels Outraged After Hearing About No Nut November
Nibbles was reportedly distraught at how nuts the situation was.Photo by Jack Yang Area squirrels Nibbles and Chipper are furious after being told about the phenomenon known …
“Distant Relative ‘Cannot BELIEVE’ How Much You’ve Grown Since Last Christmas”
After witnessing the growth of her grandnephew, Great Aunt Patty immediately went to work knitting 75 larger sweaters and cooking 32 times the original amount of …
Local Mall Santa Claims it is Impossible to Have One Ho, Must Have Three
Local Mall Santa Claims it is Impossible to Have One Ho, Must Have Three After showing up to work two and a half hours late with …
