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Local Man Makes New Year’s Resolution to Become Worse in Every Way Possible
“I won’t stop until I’ve kicked 101 dalmatians,” vowed Fleming.Photo by Sophie Pubb At the start of every year, many Americans resolve to improve themselves in …
You Missed Out on Something Really Cool Last Night vs. You Are a Failure
Point: You Missed Out on Something Really Cool Last Night Last night was truly a sight to behold! As the sun began its fiery descent into …
Chancellor Khosla “Surprised” to Find Classified Documents in Office
“Classified? No, these are just top secret,” said Khosla.Photo by Julia Wong Following an anonymous tip, campus police and the Office of Internal Affairs conducted a …
California Storm Drain Systems Augmented with Parched Clowns
“I’m really glad the government started taking the flooding seriously and stopped clowning around,” said Quin.Photo by Amit Roth As California braced itself for a torrent …
This Year’s Super Bowl Ads Were the Worst Yet vs. Try the All-New Flavor Bomb in Your Ford F950!
Point: This Year’s Super Bowl Ads Were the Worst Yet Every year, on a beautiful winter day, my family gathers for a day of festivities. A …
Avatar: The Way of Water to Be Re-Released in 192 One-Minute Segments on YouTube Shorts
“I can’t understand the plot because part 36 was removed for copyright,” lamented one viewer.Photo by Connor Betterly James Cameron announced plans to re-release his latest …
Horoscopes for February 8, 2023
Aquarius – Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Happy Aquarius season! This month, your power-ups include finding pennies on the ground, never pulling a muscle at the …
