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Doctoral Student Submits Thesis, Promises to Have Time for Other Things Now
Local student Philomena Doctersen finally submitted their thesis last Tuesday, which was met with equal celebration and surprise by friends and family. Dr. Fahrt, their thesis …
Health Influencer Launches Brand of Mercury Supplements
“Not only is this mercury great for my health, I also love the way it settles in my stomach!” exclaimed one customer.Photo by Sharon Roth Instagram …
Physicists Run Out of Greek Letters
“I don’t get all this fuss. I thought one of the Greek letters was already nu,” said one physics student.Photo by Julia Wong A recent announcement …
Local Dog Retrofitted to Learn New Trick
Excels at rolling over
If You Really Think About It, Life Is Just a Game as a Service
I remember when the first arcades opened. My brother would spend hours in them, coming home late at night on an empty stomach after turning his …
“House Hunters” Renewed
Houses go into hiding
I Actually Started Going to the Gym on Dec. 25th, so I’m Better Than You
I hate walking into the gym on January 1. It’s full of losers who crowd the machines and probably can’t even bench the bar. Thankfully by …
Members of Pink Floyd Lose Almost Every Brick in the Wall Following FTX Collapse
“Hey Bankman-Fried, leave those kids alone,” said Money.Photo by Amit Roth The list of celebrities that have made public statements about losing significant amounts of wealth …
