Written by: The MQ

  1. You eat eight spiders
  2. The DVD logo hits the corner
  3. Your eyelids get slightly suntanned
  4. You get charged 1/100th of a penny to your student account
  5. Everyone playing a secret game of wax
    museum runs a step toward you
  6. The Earth travels 46 meters along its orbit
    around the Sun
  7. You get one microsecond of sleep
  8. The professor goes to the next slide
  9. Your screen time goes up by five hours
  10. You feel nostalgic for peek-a-boo

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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