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Scientist Evolves to Eat Microplastics, Becomes World’s First Human 3D Printer
“Life in plastic — it’s fantastic,” said Dr. Gabriel Barbecue.Photo by James Woolley Last month, Dr. Gabriel Barbecue checked himself into the hospital after experiencing severe …
Susan Bagel: Bread
When I dream, I dream of my grandmother’s fruit bread. Every winter, she made enough loaves to feed a small village, and we feasted on the …
Return Black Friday to Its Roots
If one more person disrespects the internationally-recognized holiday of Black Friday, I am going to lose it. The contempt when you dismiss this patriotic purchasing day …
Study Reveals That It Can’t Get Worse
A research paper published in the Journal of Poor Judgement and Indecision sparked hope in the scientific community after claiming that “it cannot get worse from …
Donald Trump Returns to Twitter, Saves the Platform
Following Elon Musk’s acquisition of Twitter, nearly all users have levied complaints against Musk’s policies. Many have gone so far as to leave the platform altogether, …
“Khosplayers” to Storm Comic-Con
With tickets secured, hundreds of UC San Diego students are frantically preparing for San Diego Comic-Con, one of the largest comic conventions in the United States. …
UCSD Announces New “DILF”-Focused Research Center to Promote Equality
“This project has fathered many other studies,” said Simgod Friend.Photo by James Woolley Following the reveal of the Human Milk Institute, UCSD announced the Human Observation …
