Volume 25
Local Renaissance Faire Holiday Feast Serves Blood of a Heretic Instead of Turkey
A local Renaissance faire “spiced up” their Thanksgiving feast this year with authentic medieval cuisine, including the boiled blood of a heretic. “I’m just happy to …
Area Manager Voices Confusion About Why Employees “Just Keep Striking”
On Friday, November 30, local manager Craig Henser released a statement regarding his workers’ recent massive strike over pay cuts and reduced benefits, stating, “I understand …
Chancellor Khosla to Present “Holiday Gift” to UC San Diego Community
UC San Diego Chancellor Pradeep Khosla will present the UC San Diego community with a “holiday gift” this Friday in honor of the University’s commitment to …
New Starbucks Cups Anger Groups
The greatly anticipated annual designs for Starbucks’ 2018 holiday cups have finally arrived, and this year, they reportedly feature multiple patterns. Hoping to skirt controversy, Starbucks …
UCSD Chancellor Offers Use of Driveway for Student Parking During Construction
In response to the parking crisis impacting UCSD students, Chancellor Khosla has offered the use of his estate’s driveway for parking until construction ends sometime this …
Here Comes the Son Offers a Comfortable Stay for Expecting Mothers
e been waiting to visit and review the Here Comes the Son maternity ward. When I got pregnant with my second child, I knew I would …
After Positive Reception of “Detective Pikachu” Movie, SEGA Announces Upcoming “Secret Agent Sonic”
Director Pete Docter has expressed confidence that Secret Agent Sonic will surpass the popularity of Detective Pikachu. “Seriously, a talking pokemon? Not to mention realistic, furry …
Why Does This College Named After Me Have so Little Plant Life?
It used to be an honor to be attached to a UCSD college. In the ghost world, I secured loads of connections just by pointing that …
Area Man Pregames All Year for New Year’s Eve Party
Last night, The Drunken Seagull regular Iain McCarthy was found passed out on the sidewalk next to the bar in preparation for even more alcohol consumption …
