Written by: MQ Trophy Husband

Last night, The Drunken Seagull regular Iain McCarthy was found passed out on the sidewalk next to the bar in preparation for even more alcohol consumption in New Year’s celebrations. This was reportedly the fourth time in the past two weeks that he was found in an intoxicated state after 10 p.m. on a weekday night. McCarthy’s family has expressed their concerns. “Iain’s problem is just getting worse and worse. He used to be a very casual drinker, but this year it started becoming a problem,” expressed his mother, Martha McCarthy.

Iain agreed to come clean in an exclusive interview: “Look man, drinking has always been a very casual thing, but last year I met someone at a work party. He explained that the better the pregame, the better the party. Right then and there, I promised myself that I would be the best pregamer for the best party of the year, and what’s a better party to pregame than New Year’s Eve Party? It is THE party of the year.” McCarthy was last seen entering The Castle Tavern at 11 a.m. and ordering three shots of Tequila.

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