Volume 25
Editorial: Liberals Took Away My Parental Rights After I Tried to Make Modern Day Cupid by Handing My Baby a Shotgun
If you ever need yet another reason to realize the end of civilized America is near, look no further than the leftist culture that has stripped …
Top Ten Ways to Ask Someone Out on Valentine’s Day
Tell them you’ve decided to settle Ask your mom to do it for you WikiHow never failed, right? Venmo them exactly 69 dollars Find out their …
Top Ten Reasons You Regret Robbing That Old Woman
She ran a lot faster than you thought she would It was right in front of a police station She was not afraid to use her …
Top Ten Reasons You Switched Churches
Your old church forced you to buy some lame book called “The Bible” You realized your old church was actually a Church’s Chicken You tried to …
Top Ten Reason Your Shirt’s on Backwards
It’s not your shirt that’s backwards, it’s you The front said UCSD and you don’t want to be associated It was backwards when you got it …
Roger Stone Nominates Tumor With Nixon Tattoo for 2020 Election
Roger Stone has sparked outrage amongst the American public after revealing that his tattoo of Richard Nixon had budded off into a small humanoid creature bearing …
Kansas Lifts Up, Flies Away, Only One Person Notices
The entire state of Kansas has lifted up into the atmosphere and has flown directly into the sun. Sam Workmon, a Colorado resident, claims that on …
Sunshine Market to shut Down the Day After Target Opens
Sunshine Market recently announced that they will be permanently closing down operations in Price Center. In wake of the new Target moving in, the small market …
Dr Pepper Sued for Medical Malpractice
Jacob Rolloph, 27, died this week after a heart attack resulting from inappropriate medical treatment given by Dr Pepper. After the incident, Rolloph’s family discovered that …
