Top Ten
Top Ten Differences between Your Shoes and Hillary Clinton’s Shoes
One pair belongs to a lying, corrupt politician, and the other belongs to Clinton Yours are black and hers are a darker shade of black Her …
Top Ten Things Holding Back the Realization of a Modern-Day Utopia
Eve. Couldn’t she have just eaten the pear? Vertically sliced bread isn’t a thing yet Did you know that some states still have laws restricting gerrymandering? …
Top Ten Problems You First Encounter In College
Fighting on the playground The human body contains about 3.5 more liters of blood than your bucket can handle The realization that life is just series …
Top Ten Regrets from Black Friday
Grabbing a shopping cart instead of a basket. You’re just slowing yourself down Being a participant in the trampling death of that old woman, but also …
Top Ten Things You Didn’t Expect To See at Black’s Beach
Good, wholesome family fun Oscar-winner Tom Hanks on a raft with a volleyball My goddamn tax money Apparently birthmarks are back in style All four members …
Top Fifteen Similarities between Your Iced Coffee and Your Nagging Mother
You always feel the need to poop 15 minutes afterwards Part of Dad’s morning ritual Cause of a screaming match with the Anaheim Starbucks barista Freud’s …
Top Ten Issues of the 2064 Election
Androids only worth three-fifths of a vote Whether two dogs can get gay-married to a slippery slope Kanye West declared a deity, separation of Church and …
Top Ten Similarities Between Jury Duty And Getting an Enema
You have to watch a video from 1977 explaining the process first “My sister died and this is all you’re doing about it?” It’s not fun …
Top Ten Reasons Why OxiClean Couldn’t Quite Get That Stain Out
You still haven’t made your five easy payments of $9.95 It’s not a stain; it’s modern art. Please sir, you’re at the MOMA, get out OxiClean …
