Top Fifteen Little Known Things Jesus Said While Ascending to Heaven

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

  1. I mean, I guess this beats crucifixion
  2. Wow I definitely thought I was going to Hell
  3. Beam me up, Scotty
  4. Wait until my father hears about this
  5. Please don’t whitewash me in future paintings
  6. Oh no, not again
  7. Please don’t yell my name when you’re having sex
  8. No one look up my robe
  9. Jesus OUT
  10. Haha, these losers think I’m returning
  11. It’s Jesus, bitch
  12. I left a million dollars in the …
  13. Jesus Fucking Christ
  14. Whatever you do, don’t start a religion based on me
  15. God is a woman

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