Briefs
Facebook debuts Second-Order Read Receipts, You’re the Asshole Again
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg introduced a wave of new features to the website last week, chief among them what he’s calling “second order read receipts.” “This …
Officials Propose Cancellation of Sun God Cancellation Proposal
The Sun God Festival’s team, along with Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs Juan Gonzalez, met this month to discuss the future of proposals to permanently cancel …
Cru and InterVarsity Hold Price War on Library Walk Hugs
This past Wednesday, to coincide with the approach of finals, Campus Crusade for Christ and InterVarsity both offered hugs for charity on Library Walk, resulting in …
California School Revitalizes Test Scores by Moving Problem Children to Other Schools
After years of struggle to meet standards set by state guidelines, Franklin Elementary exceeded expectations by developing a new strategy: move all of the “problem” children …
Vegan Meals at Roots Found to Contain Actual Vegans
HDH has received numerous complaints about the alleged addition of meat to supposedly vegan meals at Roots. Warren College first-year Rainn Wanatamatanabewan was reportedly among those …
Local Student “Loves to Have Fun”
Gerald Martinez, third year San Diego State student, came under nationwide scrutiny after posting a series of statements on his Facebook, the most controversial being “I …
Chrome Bug Releases Incognito History To Your Parents; “I Can Explain”
Last weekend, Chrome’s most recent bug, “Bedbugiezz,” sent extensive incognito web-history lists to parents. Flabbergasted and unable to form words, like always, pre-teens across the nation …
UCSD Football Player Dies of Head Trauma
In a sad turn of events, Peyton F. Bawl, UCSD’s star quarterback player has succumbed to his injuries and died. Bawl was UCSD’s hero in its …
New Study Finds Nothing Really, Like, Matters, Dude
A new study from the Institute of the Pacific found that like, when you think about it dude, none of this shit matters. The study was …
Scientists Finally Uncover the Mystery of Dog Reproduction
A recent study by the University of California, San Diego Biology department has revealed, after so many years, just how canines reproduce. This discovery was facilitated …


