Politics
Poll Reveals Gun Rights Rank Above Rights to Life, Liberty, Happiness
In the wake of one of the deadliest mass shootings in modern history, polling of Americans revealed that the majority of those surveyed agree with expanding …
New Tweet Character Limit Finally Allows Donald Trump to Be Eloquent World Leader
Late this September, in an effort to help users be more expressive, Twitter announced that they were going to be beta testing doubling their tweet character …
North Korea in Final Stages of Developing a Photo Bomb
Yesterday the White House released a press brief stating that “diplomatic friction continues with North Korea, as their government develops an assault on the American lifestyle.” …
Trump Administration Discovered To Be an Improv Camp for the Wealthy
In the past few weeks, many Americans have been awestruck by how seemingly messily and uncoordinatedly the Trump Administration has been conducting business. However, there seems …
New American Diplomacy Policy Released as “Act First, Don’t Ask Questions Later, Hope No One Else Does Either”
The White House has recently released a new statement outlining future approaches to foreign policy and international affairs which, according to Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, the …
North Korea Launches Child in Duckie Floatie, Decimates American West Coast
Last Wednesday, at 8:43 GMT, North Korea successfully launched a five-year-old child from a rubber duckie pool floatie, effectively destroying the majority of Washington, Oregon, and …
Russian Social Media Site Turns Over U.S. Propaganda Ads to Russian Government
Giving in to pressure from the Kremlin, VKontakte, the most popular Russian social media site, announced that it would allow the government to access to its …
Trump Solves Opioid Problem, Won’t Share the Oxycodone
Just two weeks after the president declared the opioid crisis, a “serious problem the likes of which we have never had,” Trump commissioned the U.S. Attorney’s …
Climate Change Denier Asked for Proof, Points to Rainbow
Area environmental scientists asked Matthew Baker, a local climate change denier and activist, for proof during a debate on the existence of climate change and humanity’s …
FBI Begins New Director Selection Process Inspired by Shark Tank
On May 9, President Trump made the controversial decision to fire FBI Director James Comey, who had initiated an investigation on the extent of Russian involvement …
