“Most Realistic Horoscope Ever” Requires Social Security Number

Constellar, a horoscope app touting its “incredibly realistic horoscope readings,” has recently become the most downloaded horoscope app ever. Its founder, Joseph Parker, has expressed his excitement for the future of the brand. “What separates us from other horoscope apps is that we request our users’ legal name, birthdate, driver’s license number, and social security number in order to make an account for them. Having their SSN helps us generate the most specific readings for our users, while also giving us a way to make money giving free readings.”

Concerns have been raised about Constellar being a data mining site that sells its users data in exchange for its readings. When a reporter asked about the validity of these allegations, Parker responded, “You know what I see? I see darkness in your future if you continue this line of questioning.” No further questions were asked to Parker.

Constellar’s users remain unfazed by these allegations. “I just want to know if I’m sexually compatible with my wife and have some laughs looking at how compatible I am with my friends,” shared Anne Jenkins, a daily user of the app. “I’ll gladly give my SSN for that.”