How Hard Can This Premed Thing Be?

By Joseph Neuron
Incoming Freshman

Look, I know I’m only going into my first year, but how hard can Premed
really be? Like, there’s not even a specific major for it, anyone can be Premed if they say that they are. I’m just gonna major in something easy like General Bio or something and then just take the MCAT and hope for the best. If I apply to enough med schools, I’m bound to get into one of them.

And with everyone complaining about O-chem, I just don’t get it! It’s just chemistry about organic things, which is basically just bio and everyone knows that’s the easiest science. Like, sure it probably isn’t an easy class, but if everyone fails then the curve is gonna be awesome. It’s not even an upper div anymore, so I’m totally not worried.

Besides, how hard can it really be? You just cram as much as you can right before the test anyway. It’s not like people actually spend all of college studying for it, right? And I’m sure I remember enough just from high school Bio that I won’t even need to study that much, these are just GEs. I was practically a straight B student all throughout high school. Doesn’t everyone say that C’s get degrees? All you have to remember is that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and you’ll be set up for an A. How hard can it be to pass a class about a cell?

I Switched Majors Three Weeks Into my Freshman Year

Joseph Neuron
3 Weeks Into the Quarter

I may have made a mistake. No one told me these classes were actually going to be hard! Who cares about stuff like enzymes and osmosis anyway! I thought BILD 1 was supposed to be easy, it’s just on the cell. How much more simple can you get? I don’t understand why I can’t just cram before the test and be fine.

Whatever, I didn’t even want to be Premed anyway. I think I’m just going to change majors to Communications or something. It’s just based on social science, so it’s not even a real science anyway. Plus it’s not going to make me know any useless info about electron transporters, who even cares about that kind of stuff anyway? It’s not like I’m actually going to need to know that kind of thing for a job.

I bet even Premed students don’t actually care, they just have to be able to parrot it on the test like everyone else. And now that we have the internet, people can just look up anything they don’t already know. I bet that’s how everyone else is passing this class too. Anyway, now that I don’t need to study, I’m gonna go hit up Rimac. I’ve been skipping leg day but now that we’re gonna be a D1 school I really have something important to focus on.