Local first year student Scott Merrifield, in an attempt to prove himself to be just as culturally relevant as other college students, has decided to speak using only “Arrested Development” references.
“Yeah, I’ve watched the show through before, and honestly it’s not my favorite. But when my roommate Danny told me to ‘suck a dick, you dumb shit,’ I knew I had a chance to be the ‘Arrested Development’ guy. And so far, I think I’m solid as a rock,” said Merrifield, smirking slightly.
Though Merrifield’s tactic has been less than successful, he insisted that he would still gain the respect of his fellow students.
“Look, I know it may look like my suitemates are ignoring me, and you may say that I’ve made a terrible mistake, but I think I’m going to be all right. Hey look at that … I just killed two ‘doves’ with one stone. Hah, gotcha!”
“Honestly, if you don’t get why this is funny, you probably just don’t understand the genius subtlety behind these jokes,” added Merrifield. “And anyways, if this whole ‘reference guy’ thing doesn’t work out, there’s always money in the banana stand. Get it?”
When told that reference humor was the lowest form of humor, Merrifield only responded with “Marry me.”
Hannah Lykins is a fourth-year student at UCSD.
