Volume 27 Issue 5
Kraft Singles Ad
A last-ditch effort to get lonely folks to buy more kraft singles. Has American capitalism gone too far?
You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! vs. Sir, If We Don’t Operate These Kidney Stones Could Kill You.
Point: You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! By Lucky The White Whale of Leprechauns Oh ya sneaky little bastards think you’ve gotten to me …
Murder Mystery
This is the result of reading 20+ mystery novels.
Local Cat Has Already Lost Eight Lives
He’s not gonna be losing the last one to you
UCSD Student Discovers Great Tits, Ornithologists Baffled
Buns hid his woodpecker at the sight of Great Tits.Photo by Sharon Roth Passing by a group of female students on his way to throw out the …
Problems Local Student Has Had for Four Years Blamed on “Senioritis”
“I guess time really does fly by when you do nothing but witness the unending monotony of life,” said Chou.Photo by Sharon Roth Fourth year student Devin …
Daft Punk Self-Destruction in Desert Leads to Robot Strike
Upon hearing the news, the Hubble Space Telescope proclaimed, “I can’t believe my optical processors!”Photo by Maria Dhilla The two robots from the hit music duo, Daft …
UCSD Builds New Student Parking Lot in Juneau, Alaska
“I can see the Russian studies department from here,” said one student.Photo by Maria Dhilla In an effort to address the lack of proper student parking on …
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Zoom Calls
Top Ten Ways to Avoid Zoom Calls Become a vampire and claim the host never invited you Cultivate an image of yourself as a person who …
