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ArticlesNationalNews

LaCroix Announces New Boxing Day Hotdog Eating Competition

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“The hotdog buns taste so much better now,” said Jack Peanut. “It makes me want to LaCry.”Photo by Julia Wong I n the company’s latest advertising …

Briefs

Every Time a College is Opened, a Provost Gains its Wings

Written by: Amit Roth

With the opening of Eighth College this year and the anticipated opening of more in the near future, upwards mobility in the provost job market is …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

Dining Hall Workers Can’t Serve for Shit vs. We Serve Cunt

Written by: Millie You

POINT: Dining Hall Workers Can’t Serve for Shit Is it so bad to want for more in life? Is it such a sin to want the …

ArticlesCampusNews

Eucalyptus Grove Marches on Geiselgard

Written by: Amit Roth

“To all the students who think they can support the Ent uprising, I have one thing to say to you,” said Chancellor Pradeep Khosla. “You shall …

Top Ten

Top Ten Ways to Dodge the Draft

Written by: The MQ

Online Exclusive ArticlesOnline Exclusives

New Sports Announced for LA Olympic Games

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Los Angeles constituents have formally opposed the construction of the 2024 Summer Olympic stadiums and housing out of concern that the buildings will go unused after …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

Mold Is Dangerous and It Should Be the University’s Responsibility to Remove It vs. Mold Actually Makes You Smarter If You Sniff Enough of It

Written by: Dylan Schmidt

POINT: Mold Is Dangerous and It Should Be the University’s Responsibility to Remove It When I moved into the UC San Diego dorms, I expected to …

Top Ten

Top Ten Ways to Eat Enough Vegetables

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Begs Students to Have More Sex 

Written by: Shayna Crasnick

“I can’t believe our virginity rate is even higher than our acceptance rate!” said Dill Doe.Photo by Julia Wong Since its establishment, UC San Diego has …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

I Give Up — The Next Global Disaster Will Be Too Weird to Predict

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

A decade of unprecedentedly unprecedented times, whatever people are calling it, has put me out of business. If you asked me a decade ago where we’d …