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Wastewater Detection Systems Find Baby in Sewers After 2018 Masturbation-in-Shower Epidemic
“You think I’m gonna support these children?” asked Khosla, “I don’t even support these students.”Photo by Jack Yang On November 17th at 5:36 p.m., UCSD Wastewater Detection’s …
Local Queer Couple Speedrun Marriage Any Percent
Local Queer Couple Speedrun Marriage Any Percent Nonbinary lesbian couple Anne B. Goye and Robynn Drew have set a new record for modern queer marriages, managing …
Susan Bagel: Gingerbread
A ruminating Bagel, perched atop her suburban fortress, awaiting a man more substantial than the one in her hands. It’s winter, and I wake up cold. …
UCSD Creates New “All Holiday Week” for Convenience
“We gotta look on the bright side of this,” said Bitko. “That means there’s only one defined week of holiday music.”Photo by Maria Dhilla In an attempt …
Seventh College Man Waiting for Broken Elevator Scales Elevator Shaft
Seventh College Man Waiting for Broken Elevator Scales Elevator Shaft On November 22 at 1:38 a.m., an anonymous resident of Seventh College Tower West called campus …
Injuries Sustained After Ice Rink’s New “No Skates Saturday” Deal
Photo by Jack Yang Tragedy struck last Saturday after Ricky’s Ice Skatin’ ice skating rink instituted its new “No Skates Saturday” event in an attempt to bring …
UCSD Implements Inclusivity “Mxndate”, Enforces Binary “Mxntality”
Photo by Sharon Roth After months of anticipation and several strongly worded email from campus TERFs, UCSD is finally rolling out their “Inclusivity Mxndate.” Chancellor Khosla …
