The MQ

"I'm ready to die now. Tonight"

- Katya Zamolodchikova,
The Only High-Class Russian Whore 

June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII
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Top Ten

Top Ten

October 30, 2024

Top Ten Easy Halloween Costumes

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

September 25, 2024

Top Ten Ways This School Year Will Be Different from Last Year

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

September 25, 2024

Top Ten Reasons Your Professors Hate You

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

September 25, 2024

Top Ten Tips for UCSD Freshmen

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

May 29, 2024

Top Ten Ways to Become Humble

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

May 29, 2024

Top Ten Similarities Between Graduating and Being Born

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

May 29, 2024

Top Ten Moving Tips

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

May 29, 2024

Top Ten Activities in Hamster Heaven

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 13, 2024

Top Ten Alternatives to the Mail System

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 13, 2024

Top Ten Terms That Are Both Economic and Sexual

Written by: The MQ

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The News in Brief

  • June 10, 2026

    AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

    In a recent internet frenzy, users have crowned autism as the new “trendy thing to have.” Followers of this trend have flooded social media sites with …

  • GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

    June 10, 2026

  • UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

    June 10, 2026

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

    June 10, 2026

  • Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

    March 11, 2026

  • Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

    March 11, 2026

  • BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

    March 11, 2026

High in fiber! Feels even better coming out than going in.

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Online Exclusive

  • June 10, 2026

    Pharmaceutical Company Unveils New ‘Soma’ Wellness Pills

    On March 8, Bernard Huxley, CEO of “wellness corporation” HuxleyHealth, which offers Instagram Reel–based primary care and supplementals announced BigBrother would be releasing a line of …

Purrusing the Paper

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