Top Ten
Top Ten Similarities Between Getting a Tattoo in a Kitchen and Getting a Hickey in Your Childhood Bedroom
Similarities Between Getting a Tattoo in a Kitchen and Getting a Hickey in Your Childhood Bedroom You gave them both to yourself You thought you’d have …
Top Ten Ways Science Ruined Sports
1. Now that you know the exact size of a football field, it’s kind of lost its magic as a unit of measurement
2. In order to get statistically significant results, baseball players have to play 90 innings
3. Global warming means that eventually the only sport left will be water polo
4. It stopped being fun when a zoologist gave you a literal pigskin to play football with
5. Scientists invented concussions
6. Drug testing
7. You can never figure out how much acidball to balance out your baseball
8. They made you use the metric system, so now you have to play 0.3 meterball
9. They forced you to wear that stupid helmet
10. Someone came up with an unethical psychological experiment called golf
Top Fifteen Mysteries Still Unexplained by Science
1. Why the rent keeps getting higher when people keep getting poorer
2. Why you’re too afraid to ever ask for anything
3. Magnets, how do they work
4. Why people go to med school
5. Where that smell is coming from
6. Why your dad stopped responding to your texts
7. Why you’re tired from 8 A.M. – 8 P.M. but wide awake from 8 P.M. – 8 A.M.
8. Why the smaller the battery size is, the louder it screams
9. Where Cheeto dust comes from
10. Why you’re “not allowed” to drink hydrochloric acid even though there’s acid in your body
11. How Mother Earth retains her curves
12. Why everyone else can’t see the eighth color of the rainbow
13. Why you don’t like healthy food even when it tastes good
14. How they clean all that coal
15. What the fuck a “blue raspberry” is
Top Ten Technologies that Attract Millennials to Your Startup
With the rise of millennials in the workforce comes a surge in demands for certain office accommodations from employers. For the trendy boss who wants to …
Top Ten Ways Daylight Savings Ruined Your Day
1. You have to wait six months until your car clock works again
2. You’re missing the one hour of beauty sleep you needed to not look ugly
3. You scheduled something for 2:01 a.m.
4. You sprung too far forward and you’re now in the year 2089
5. You’ve been outrunning your shadow and now it’s caught up with you
6. You have to hire a mason to reset your sundial
7. You were strategically playing hard-to-get but now it looks like you’re ghosting her
8. The doctor only gave you six more hours to live and you just lost an hour
9. Nobody understood your joke because your timing was off
10. You forgot to report your extra savings in daylight and now the IRS is after you
Top Ten Reasons Why the Floor Is Caving In
10. Your hoarding habit is getting bad
9. It’s on top of quicksand
8. You’ve been begging for a new Xbox and it’s had enough
7. You were trying to break the glass ceiling but you missed
6. The floor bought apple-bottom jeans and boots with the fur
5. Your plan to smash that spider with a sledgehammer was poorly thought out
4. You built your house on top of journalistic integrity
3. She took the floor in the divorce
2. You just had to say, “How could this day get any worse?”
1. You still haven’t addressed the elephant in the room
Top Ten Similarities Between April Fool’s Day and Your Final Exams
10. They remind you of your wasted potential
9. You celebrated both by putting a stink bomb inside your professor’s car
8. You didn’t expect to be drunk
7. Both have an approximately 13 percent chance of sending you to the hospital
6. You spent the entire time blaming your noxious gas on a whoopee cushion
5. They make you want to drop out of college
4. You would have felt better if you had just stayed in bed
3. They both have gone on long enough
2. You started to laugh-cry at the absurdity of it all
1. You forgot to participate
Top Ten Ways to Ask Someone Out on Valentine’s Day
Tell them you’ve decided to settle Ask your mom to do it for you WikiHow never failed, right? Venmo them exactly 69 dollars Find out their …
Top Ten Reasons You Regret Robbing That Old Woman
She ran a lot faster than you thought she would It was right in front of a police station She was not afraid to use her …
Top Ten Reasons You Switched Churches
Your old church forced you to buy some lame book called “The Bible” You realized your old church was actually a Church’s Chicken You tried to …
