With the rise of millennials in the workforce comes a surge in demands for certain office accommodations from employers. For the trendy boss who wants to keep their youthful workforce happy, here are five must-haves to provide to your employees.
Avocado Toaster
It’s the hottest trend! With minimal effort and an Avocadabra, you can make avocado toast just by throwing a slice of bread and the zesty fruit into this brilliant toaster. Feel free to charge your employees a dollar or 12 to provide a little boost to your seed funding.
Vegan Paper
Do you feel like every time you use a piece of paper, you’re exploiting poor and helpless animals? With Papertarian, you can get that weight off your back. It also keeps those vegans from protesting outside your office!
Editor’s note: It’s just regular paper.
80-Hour Work Week Planner
You may have noticed that some calendars offer a shamefully small amount of space given the needs of the modern world. But when you make your employees work for 80 hours a week, it’s good to offer them some room. Allow them to put their 7 A.M., 11 A.M., 3 P.M., and 10 P.M. meetings on the page without needing to squeeze with Planned Productivity!
“Paychecks”
While you may not technically be able (or want) to pay your employees just yet, Experichecks will help them be incentivised to clock in for those 16-hour days. These revolutionary certificates give your employees a sense of experience and exposure, and combined with a space under their desk to sleep, they’re sure to stay with you through all your growing pains.
Health Care
Many of your employees may be bringing serious health issues to the workplace. The last thing you want is to lose your nearly free labor to an ailment, so consider offering Americare: Ultra-Privatized Health Care. While it may seem strange that they aren’t able to drop $10,000 when they catch a cold, they’re from a different world where coddling is much more prevalent.
