Written by: The MQ

  1. You have to wait six months until your car clock works again
  2. You’re missing the one hour of beauty sleep you needed to not look ugly
  3. You scheduled something for 2:01 a.m.
  4. You sprung too far forward and you’re now in the year 2089
  5. You’ve been outrunning your shadow and now it’s caught up with you
  6. You have to hire a mason to reset your sundial
  7. You were strategically playing hard-to-get but now it looks like you’re ghosting her
  8. The doctor only gave you six more hours to live and you just lost an hour
  9. Nobody understood your joke because your timing was off
  10. You forgot to report your extra savings in daylight and now the IRS is after you

The MQ is the premier satire magazine at UC San Diego

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