Articles
EDITORIAL: Saudi Arabia Bans Online Satire, Finally a Step in the Right Direction
Saudi Arabia announced they were finally banning online satire last month and I for one could not be more proud. People have said that the biggest …
World’s Oldest Fly Dies at 43 (Days)
A house fly famous in the La Jolla area for its longevity has recently passed away in UCSD student Richard Liu’s bathroom. The fly, affectionately named …
Poll Reports 75 Percent of Millennials Would Vote for Corpse of Bernie Sanders in 2020
CNN released a poll on Wednesday, September 12, finding that 75 percent of millenials are willing to vote for the corpse of Bernie Sanders in the …
HDH Replaces Dining Hall Meals With Dog Food, Students Deem It an Improvement
Last Friday night, HDH announced via email that it will change all dining hall food options to dog food varieties starting Fall Quarter 2018, citing student …
Professors Prepare To Return to Void for Summer
UC San Diego professors prepare to return to the void as the Spring 2018 quarter draws to a close. Professors who aren’t teaching during the Summer …
Sun Given a One-Star Yelp Review by NASA Astronomers
Once thought to be the hottest spot in the Solar System, the Sun recently received a shockingly low one-star Yelp review from NASA astronomers. Their reasoning …
ICE Raids Funeral, Asks Deceased for Identification
A new border security policy has gone into effect nationwide, as Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents conduct searches of the funerals of deceased immigrants believed …
Police Continue Extensive Manhunt for Area Woman Who Stole Eight Dollars Worth of Lip Gloss
Local law enforcement is conducting a high-priority search for UCSD student Helena Logan, who was witnessed stealing eight dollars worth of lip gloss from a local …
Graduating Biology Student Pursues Ph.D., Excited to Have Stable Career by Late Fourties
UCSD student Sarah Rosenberg accepted her fate as a graduate student last Sunday during a brief moment of introspection that was squeezed in between finishing an …
The United States Imposes Sanctions on the United States
President Trump announced Tuesday that the United States would impose economic sanctions on the United States. These sanctions are the latest in an ongoing trade war …
