Articles
LEGO US Releases Nation Building Sets, Parts Recalled for Injuring Future Generations
China has reportedly been buying the LEGO sets in large numbers, eager to get a sneak peek at US military designs.Photo by Maria Dhilla In what one …
UCSD to Give Out Commemorative Tents to Students as a Solution for the Housing Crisis
“As a Muir student, I’m really digging the return to nature. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss running water,” admitted Bartlett.Photo by …
Local Crypto-Entomologist Finds a Bug in His Code
“Cockroach, null pointer, stick bug, ladybug, stack overflow, rhinoceros beetle, moth, caterpillar, infinite recursion, worm, centipede, millipede. These are my favorite bugs, in order,” said Turing.Photo …
How I Cured Conspiracy Theorists by Selling Them a More Ludicrous Conspiracy
By Chad Rähserchur Disillusioned Film Critic Human nature is to know. The absence of knowledge haunts us, tears away at our sanity. I say to everyone …
Agricultural Revolution Erupts from Horse Dewormer Shortage
“We are not horsing around,” claimed Susie McCue’s neighbor.Photo by Maria Dhilla Ivermectin and other horse-related medications have long been out of stock following claims made by …
UCSD Spam Quarantine Email Name to be Changed “Out of Respect” for Past Events
“Any student who mentions the email will be put in isolation for 40 days,” threatened Khosla.Photo by Robin Brewin This past Saturday, a private meeting to …
Local Gamer Releases Manifesto on Video Game Monetization
One commenter wrote, “They need to make the Minecraft boobs not square anymore.”Photo by Jack Yang Early last week, local San Diego gamer Huey D. Louie released …
UCSD Turns Class Selection Process Into a Gacha Game
“It’s like this thing is rigged so that I don’t get what I want,” complained one student.Photo by Jack Yang In an effort to make the class …
San Diego Vaccination Site Incentivizes Vaccine with Barrels of Funfetti Frosting
“Getting vaccinated sure is addicting,” said Schmobby. “I’m already on my third card.”Photo by Robin Brewin With COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations on the rise, local governments …
Raccoon Cult Offers UCSD Students Secure Housing
Some students claim to have witnessed a demonic possession, but it was just a case of rabies.Photo by Maria Dhilla With over 50,000 admitted students and a …
