Articles
Far Right Calls for End to Annual Migration of Monarch Butterflies
The presidential campaign took yet another interesting turn late last month, as a far-right political party called for a press conference to demand a stop to …
Area Man Recycles, Saves Planet
The eyes of the world were focused on San Diego today, as area man Chase Baron officially saved the planet by recycling his 12-oz can of …
Woman Confused Why There’s a Reporter at Her Door
San Diego resident Claudia Barsetti reportedly answered her door early Tuesday afternoon in a state of confusion to find a newspaper reporter asking her questions about …
New Hazard Labels Required for Women in STEM to Ensure Proper Handling
A new line of women’s lab coats equipped with mandatory hazard labels has been issued, free of charge, to all scientific research institutions across the nation …
Student Forgets to Set Alarm Before 15-Minute Power Nap, Sleeps for a Week
In an unfortunate but unsurprising turn of events earlier this Winter Quarter, a UCSD undergraduate found himself living many college students’ worst nightmare: accidentally sleeping through …
Local Insult Comic Paralyzed by Perception of Self
A long string of past experiences and subjectively-derived truths had already determined the outcomes of the most recent performance of the Silicon Valley based insult comic …
Students Celebrate Rich History of St. Patrick’s Day by Wearing Green, Drinking to Excess
This March, UCSD students will commemorate St. Patrick, the man recognized by the Catholic Church as being on par with the original twelve apostles, by getting …
Standing in Line Point/Counter Point
Point: I Just Need a Second to Decide Between the BLT Sandwich and the Caesar Salad Oh, just give me one more minute, I can’t decide …
UCs Banned from Asking About Race, Find New Measures of Student Affluence
As per California Proposition 209, the 2016-2017 incoming freshman class will be the 20th UC class to have been accepted independent of their race, sex, or …
Local Toddler Discovers Santa Claus Not Real, Life Now Meaningless
Local toddler Albert Cameron, age five, was shocked this past week to learn that Santa Claus is not a real person. After overhearing his mother discussing …
