Opinion
The Mobile Ordering System on Campus Is an Unstable Nightmare vs The Triton2Go System Works Perfectly, You’re Just Being a Baby
Point: The Mobile Ordering System on Campus Is an Unstable Nightmare Like the rest of you folks, I was forced to purchase a campus dining plan. …
No, Don’t Buy That Compression Shirt
I thought I had changed. I thought I had grown. I thought I was no longer the person who would impulse-buy a $200 trench coat to …
It’s Not Hazing vs I Can’t See Anything in This Fog
This generation makes everything so dramatic. Along with your need to label everything with made-up words like “hazing,” you little twerps like to get so upset …
My Study Abroad Experience Changed My Life and You’re Going to Hear About It Whether You Want to or Not
How was my summer? Oh, just incredible! I lived in Italy for two whole months. Yeah, it was a really formative experience. I was in a …
More Wildfires Are Actually Great for Me
Okay, fine. I admit it. After watching my favorite vacation home go up in flames, there is no denying that climate change is real. Hopefully the …
We Have All Been Afflicted With a Curse
Fellow youths, I bring horrible, world-ending news. Our university — nay, our universe itself has been afflicted with a terrible curse. It is the most vile, …
Grades Inflate, Society Crumbles
In the storied history of education there has been but one constant: the strong pass and the weak fail. Educators from Socrates to Dennis Prager have …
Bacteria Don’t Deserve to Be Experimented On vs They’re Not Fucking Animals
Point: Bacteria Don’t Deserve to Be Experimented On While PETA has devoted no small amount of time and effort to advocate for the rights of animals …
How to Always Win Your Fantasy Football League
It’s a tale as old as time. September rolls around and your friends or colleagues invite you to join their fantasy football league. There’s just one …
I Love Having Classes in Pepper Canyon vs ACHOO!
Point: I Love Having Classes in Pepper Canyon My first year, I didn’t appreciate east campus. But after soliciting each location on campus, the area between …
