Tech
AI-Run X Accounts Devalue Words, Pictures Now Worth 2000
“Forcing my oomfs to take the Turing Test”, said one X user.Photo by Amit Roth and Claire Cover Twitter, formally known as X, allowed users to …
Researchers Implant First Entirely Artificial Personality
The Joe Rogan Experience will become available to every US citizen in the coming month.Photo by Jordan Whitlow In what is being called one of the …
5G Towers Found to Spread Cell Service
“Phages hate this one trick,” said undergraduate research assistant Polly Merrace.Photo by Theo Erickson A recent breakthrough study led by Gervin Hernandez, an electrical engineer with …
Geekvape Launches Pacifiers
“I am ripping phat cloudz off this cart. JUULius Caesar is almost empty,” said preschooler Little Jimmy.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Geekvape, a leading manufacturer of electronic …
Microsoft Introduces Windows Remote Defender
Recent reports claim that federal politicians are “freaking the fuck out.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow In the release notes for the upcoming version 25H1 of Windows 11, …
Amazon and Boeing Announce Joint Microtransit Venture
“Still beats flying with United,” said Ahsoak Ingwethi.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Jeff Bezos was flown to the stage by three drones to announce his latest venture, …
Neuralink Announces Amygdala Removal Surgery
“The NARC chip has a dual benefit of alerting the authorities every time someone thinks about using opiates,” said Alma Bowls.Photo by Julia Wong With Neuralink’s …
TikTok Announces Opiate-Based User Retention Strategy
“I can’t believe my friends just take whatever drugs companies push on them,” said one conference attendee, taking a hit from their Juul.Photo by Connor Betterly …
