The day after the museum published news of the “MonaSoft Paint,” security guards found “The Birth of Venus” replaced with macaroni art.
Photo by: Daniel Clinton
The Louvre’s staff last week were struck by theft after realizing someone had exchanged da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” with a digitally fabricated replica. After careful inspection, museum experts have discovered it was skillfully duplicated using Microsoft Paint.
Curator Andre Huile commented that he believes this is a crucial detail into finding whom he calls the “MS Paint Whisperer.”
“What this person has done with such a computer program is beyond any level that we have seen before,” said Huile, “It is as if the ‘MonaSoft Paint’ is leaping off the flimsy poster paper it was printed on. Its poorly shaded face stares at me in a beautiful misery, as if to say, ‘I must find my creator.’ I have to say, art has not made me feel this way in a long time.” When asked about the real “Mona Lisa,” he responded, “Yeah, I guess the ‘Mona Lisa’ is okay. Oh, did you mean the theft? I don’t know, we’ll probably find it. We have bigger priorities. Either way, people will still come to the Louvre. It’s not like they only care about us because of the ‘Mona Lisa,’ right?”
The incident has made a large impact on the Louvre and all of its staff. The director, Jean-Luc Martinez, commented, “I think this marks a turning point in the history of art. This is the sort of thing that only happens in movies. I think I speak for our entire staff when I say that we have been deeply impacted by the replicator’s actions. It’s not every day that you see a brilliant new art movement start in your very own museum.”
Reports say that when the thief is found, the Louvre will not press charges but instead has discussed plans to offer them a curator position. Art historians have flocked to the Louvre from around the world to see the “Mona Lisa” replicate, but they are still currently waiting because an open exhibit is being emptied to make room for the MS Paint piece. The Louvre failed to provide an estimation of when they may retrieve the “Mona Lisa,” but new advertisements are publicizing the new MS Paint exhibit coming this March.
Some museum staff were not aware of the painting’s theft as a result of the fake “Mona Lisa’s” stardom. Marie DuPoisson, who works at the gift shop, weighed in, “Oh, the first one’s gone? I guess they should probably get it back. It would help aspiring artists to compare the old one and the Paint Whisperer’s one and see where da Vinci went wrong.” Others reported a new understanding of art through history. Tourist Mark Shelman visited the museum after the theft occurred and gave his perspective on the situation, “It’s sort of mind blowing, right? I usually only know what good art is because of what I hear about it, but I almost didn’t let people sway me on this one. In hindsight, it was silly of me to call the police when I saw the Paint Whisperer run off with da Vinci’s copy. Wait, do we still like that one?”
Meanwhile, the Louvre has completely shut down to outside visitors. Museum officials state that the reason for the museum’s closing is due to a lack of security as most of the museum’s staff is currently dedicated to finding the thief. The most recent sight of people at the Louvre entrance was a security guard leaving and another staff member running after him with a “Starry Night” replicate made in MS Paint, yelling, “Can you tell them to sign this?”
Dan Kaliblotzky is a fourth-year at UCSD. He aspires to find a career in soulful heavy metal Phineas and Ferb covers.
