November 1, 2023 Read it and weep profusely. Volume XXX Issue II

Written by: Daniel Clinton

A recent study from the Cat Relations department at the University of California, San Diego found that three cats is too many cats. The study was conducted by slowly placing an increasing number of cats in a room, while a test subject tried to read a good book. The researchers noted that while the three cats did not directly disturb the subjects, the subjects all agreed that three cats in one room was “just too many cats.”

“What? Three cats is not too many cats. My boys Tiger, Fluffy, and Felix get along just fine,” commented a local crazed cat lady.

Cats as a whole were unable to comment, but one independent representative reportedly purred and rubbed the leg of a reporter before scratching him. The reporter has since been confirmed to be okay, albeit a little shaken.

The researchers believe their findings will not lead to any significant impact. They cite the uneducated masses in America and their ignorance towards scientific discovery.

“I just wish one person would look at my cat pictures,” sighed one disillusioned researcher.

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