Volume 31 Issue 2

ArticlesCampusNews

UC Regents Approves UCPD Request for 1,000 Rubber Ducks

Written by: Ezra Bihis

“Somehow, the ducks have more training than the UCPD,” said fourth-year student Ana Platt.Photo by Jordan Whitlow At the University of California Regents meeting on September …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Dining Halls To Become Allergy-Hostile

Written by: Iris Hochwalt

“HDH is really covering all their bases with this allergen stuff,” said Shelly Fisher. “They’re even making all their silverware out of nickel!”Photo by Dylan Schmidt …

ArticlesNewsWorldwide

BTS Member Declared Missing In Action; Reunion Delayed

Written by: Ren Wallace

Biden has reportedly promised “only the softest and sweetest of kisses for these poor, dear boys.”Photo by Farhad Taraporevala In an urgent press conference, HYBE Corporation …

ArticlesCampusNews

Marshall Student Gets ‘Just OK’ Haircut

Written by: Ethan Kim

“Get 11 haircuts and your 12th one is the same price as the other 11! Wouldn’t want youto stand out,” said one local barber.Photo by Liv …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Ohio Does NOT Claim JD Vance

Written by: Amit Roth

Now I don’t usually comment on politics, but something must be said about Senator Vance. In the Midwestern spirit of sharing hotdish ’fore dishing it out, …

Top Ten

Top Ten Time Management Tips

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons to Skip Lecture

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Student Uses School Health Insurance

Written by: James Woolley

“I’m really glad people are finally starting to use our resources!” said UC Health oozeologist Alexander Dribble. “We’ve seen an ∞% increase from zero to one …

ArticlesCampusNews

Birch Aquarium to Partner with HDH to Recoup Losses During Renovation

Written by: Christopher Felix

“Some of these fish will kill you, but so would some other dining hall food,” saidFoodworx employee Jade Diaz.Photo by Erica Rosslee This month, Birch Aquarium …

Center SpreadFeatures

The MQ Plans a School Dance

Written by: The MQ