“I’m really glad people are finally starting to use our resources!” said UC Health oozeologist Alexander Dribble. “We’ve seen an ∞% increase from zero to one patient!”
Photo by Liv Gilbert
Last month, third-year Global Health major Michael Spoonbill expressed that he was surprised to learn that his Student Health Insurance Plan (SHIP) helps cover the costs associated with dental, vision, and psychiatric care, in addition to providing services like vaccines, specialist referrals, and physical checkups.
“I had no idea!” he commented. “I wake up every day miserable and have been ignoring this weird stabbing pain in my wrist that happens every time I write or walk or sleep, but I learned that SHIP will help cover the cost of getting all that checked out.” Spoonbill learned about the services included with SHIP from a friend who insisted that his “mysterious oozing” was something he needed to schedule an appointment for. Spoonbill provided no further details regarding the origin or nature of the ooze.
According to Spoonbill, the process of securing an appointment has been far from easy, and he has faced trouble with scheduling, navigating the MyChart user interface, and even “coming to terms with” himself. “I decided to tackle the unending misery first. I think it started sometime around 2020, but I seriously can’t remember anything bad happening around then that could have triggered such persistent and profound sadness. Well, I guess I don’t really remember much of anything at all between March 2020 and like, last week, to be fair. I’m hoping therapy can help me remember so I can finally figure out what happened there.” Students who want to make an appointment with UC San Diego’s Counseling and Psychological Services should call (858) 534-3755 to schedule a first-time consultation, where they will be briefly assessed over the phone and referred to the type of counseling they’re looking for.
Spoonbill has also sought treatment from his primary care physician for his persistent wrist pain and has been seeking a specialist referral for his chronic oozing. Students can make appointments with their PCP through UCSD MyChart by clicking the “Menu” button located on the top right of the home page and then clicking “Schedule an Appointment.” Patients are encouraged to visit Primary Care about their general medical needs, including chronic health conditions, illnesses, checkups, and for referrals to specialty care.
Despite MyChart’s reputation for frequent crashes and not allowing students to make appointments online, Spoonbill advises to “literally give your computer a few smacks and send a prayer to Hermes before trying again. I had to try 12 times before my PCP appointment would go through, but it did eventually. Also try off-campus Wi-Fi. I think UCSD gets a kickback from Epic when students refresh the MyChart page over and over.”
According to Spoonbill, he considers his first ever primary care visit a success. “Turns out I have the worst tendinitis Dr. Kingfisher had ever seen, but I gotta say, it’s pretty cool to be first in something, even if it’s bad. She asked me what kind of repetitive tasks I was doing with my right hand, and I told her that I’ve played about 40 hours of League of Legends every week for the past four years. She did look a little grossed out, but told me that the long nights were an effect of my depression, and the wrist pain should clear up as long as I keep going to therapy and sit in the sun more often.” In addition to prescribing him fresh air, Dr. Kingfisher was able to provide Spoonbill with a referral to a certified oozeologist. Students with any non-urgent, ooze-related inquiries can receive professional advice through UCSD MyChart by clicking the “Messages” button and then clicking “Send a message to your physician or clinic.”
“I called the referral number they gave me, and it looks like the next oozeology appointment is in six and a half years,” said Spoonbill. “That’s okay, I’ve oozed for this long, I can ooze a bit longer.”