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The MQ Gets Bought Out in a Hostile Takeover
recently, we were bought out by some awesome, sweet, and superHot businEssmen! and we totally had a say in it! they’ve changed aLmost everything about our paPer in the best way possible! we’re so gratefUl for the sophiSticated new ideas they’ve added to our team! We need to CAPITALIZE on this chance.
UCSD Campus Police Crack Down on Post-It Art Returns to Stop and Frisk
“This is a sticky situation, we have to handle it carefully,” Stork explained.Photo by Sharon Roth Many UCSD students took dorm decor to the next level with …
Pizzeria experiences gas leak
The whole place is flooded with carbonara monoxide
UCSD Announces “Bold, Firm” Plan to Decarbonize “by the Time the Earth is Swallowed by the Sun”
“Green energy? Sorry, I don’t see color,” claimed Khosla.Photo by Sharon Roth Following years of pressure by campus climate activists, UCSD admin declared their intention to “fully …
We couldn’t print a great tit
So here’s a chick with nice legs
Disney Announces New LGBT Show, No Queer Characters Planned
One disgruntled viewer complained, “The Bible says Adam and Eve, not Mickey and Donald.”Photo by Yuri Bukhradze In the latest announcement of upcoming Disney+ content, the …
Asshole Printer
Within these pixels, Comic artist System32 exposes fatalistic and capitalistic gall that our printers so flagrantly flaunt, and, through that analysis, they reconcile our existence with these tortuous and frustrating machinations.
All Dining Dollars Converted to Triton Cash: Students Feast in Laundry Rooms
“At least I know my food is clean,” said Lyall.Photo by Jack Yang With understaffing and poor working conditions causing eon-long wait times at dining halls, UCSD …
What College Are You In? vs. Who Cares?
Point: You’ll Never Get Ahold of Me Lucky Charms! By Anna Ying First-Year Hi! What college are you in? I’m in Seventh. What’s your major? I’m …
UCSD Wins Rights to Build Ninth College Atop Gliderport Parking
“I’d be angry with what’s happening right now,” said Byrd, “but the view is so breathtaking I keep on forgetting.”Photo by Sharon Roth In a landmark case …