Top Ten
Top Ten Ways to Show Up at a Wedding Unannounced
In 2003, with a search warrant for WMDs With a ring to propose to your girlfriend who’s the maid of honor While admitting that no, you …
Top Ten Ways You Can Rephrase your College Experience for Your Resume
Did extensive four-year study on the effect of an all-carb diet on health and mental wellness “According to my blood tests, I’m actually 73 percent a …
Top Ten Ways to Get Out of the Conversation “How’s School Going?”
Crumple a potato chip bag and say “Oh, we’re breaking up. I can’t hear you” “My law degree is going well, but first I’d like to …
Top Ten Lesser-Known Crimes that Will Still Get You 30 to Life
Downloading a car Lying on your music practice card “Marriage, am I right, sonny boy?” Public un-nudity in a nudist colony Leaving your freshman suite door …
Top Ten Things Lassie Was Actually Trying to Tell You
I pushed Timmy down a well You really need to do a better job fake-crying if you really want that Emmy Be sure to drink your …
Top Ten Things Politicians Fail to Understand about the Human Body
Normal humans feel guilt Your skin color is not determined by any adherence to moral codes or statistical probability of being convicted of a crime Guns, …
Top Ten Similarities Between Supreme Court Justices Being Sworn In and the First Day of Kindergarten
As long as you remember which hand is your right one and how to write your name you should be fine You can tell who the …
Top Ten Ways You, Taking Your Midterm, Resemble Laika, the Dog the Russians Shot into Space
You’re rapidly learning about the beautiful cruelty of man About halfway through it got hard to tell which way was up All of this is in …
Top Ten Ways Not to Use a Blender
While in a microwave As a food processor. No respectable chef would call that a “mince” Holding it up to the sky to try and make …
Top Ten Ways Your Last DIY Project Is Like Your Last DUI
“Honey, it’s fine. I can do this” You’re now banned from Michaels It now takes additional steps to start up your car You did it by …
