- Crumple a potato chip bag and say “Oh, we’re breaking up. I can’t hear you”
- “My law degree is going well, but first I’d like to define ‘how’ and ’school’ and ‘going’”
- Mime that you’re in a box
- “I plead the Fifth”
- Whisper “diarrhea” and shuffle quickly away
- “It’s not so bad once the raccoons accept you and stop using you as their bite pillow”
- Tell them that your lawyer has advised you not to comment
- “It’s going, so I better go catch it.” Then run away
- Go on and on about how amazing it is, but use the word “relatively” before every adjective
- “I don’t know, how’s your divorce going, Helen?”
Last modified: February 2, 2019
