Editorial
I Killed Journalism
I killed it. Yup… it was me. Every time I clicked on a Washington Post article and I was refused entry, I slowly held the pillow …
I Walked from Warren to Muir and Ended up in Tijuana
This campus is huge and incredibly confusing to navigate. I’m a first-year student, and nobody told me just how bad it would be when I was …
It’s Paranormal, Not Parasocial
I have been getting a lot of rude and judgmental comments from the other townspeople that I really don’t appreciate, so I would just like to …
The Internet Has Made Me a Better Person
People can be complicated. How is it that every time I go on TikTok I can’t avoid some random content creator who I’ve never heard of …
I Bet I Could Do Olympic Gymnastics if I Really, Really Wanted To
Another year goes by and another round of Olympic Games has come and gone, and all these damn kids online keep raving about these damn Olympic …
Screw All of You: A Manifesto
I was sitting by my Victorian-style windowsill, indulging in my most recent summer read — Lolita, for the complex historical perspectives — when I heard the …
I Must Return to the Real World
Beloved wizards and magicians of the greater San Diego area, it is time for me to hang up my hat and cloak in favor of the …
I Haven’t Cried in Over a Decade Because We’ve Been in a Drought
I’ve spent my entire life as a God-fearing professional onion chopper, and never in my life have I ever witnessed a drought last longer than my …
Why I Think Leprechauns Aren’t Real
That dreaded time of year is now almost upon us. My first-grade class will soon insist on catching a leprechaun in time for St. Patrick’s Day. …
I Am the Hydro Flask That Falls in Your Lecture
I hear people have been complaining about the occasional, small, itty-bitty noise that I make when I fall in your 8 a.m. lecture (it’s not like …
