Kaz Nuckowski
Coca-Cola Unveils New Ad Campaign to Kill the Polar Bears
“Be the climate change you want to see in the world,” said Chief Marketing Officer Klymat Chang.Photo by Amit Roth Beverage giant Coca-Cola announced in a …
Dear Emily Queue: Leap Day Edition
Dear Emily Queue, if I see my shadow on Leap Day, will there be 28 more days of February?Of course not! Who do you think you …
Local Gamer Embarks on ‘Relationship Nuzlocke’ to Legalize Polyamory
“I’ve always been weak to normal types,” said Nico Franc.Photo by Connor Betterly Polyamory is rising in recognition and favorability among young people, but legal protections …
Tesla Is the Future of Accessibility vs. How Do I Open These Fucking Doors
POINT: Tesla Is the Future of Accessibility The worst thing to happen to anybody just happened to me. I’m temporarily disabled because of a tragic bus …
Psychoanalysis Wrapped — Your Top Armchair Diagnoses in 2023
If your day-to-day interactions with strangers were anything to go by, 2023 was a hard year for you. You exhibited 2,133 different typical behaviors that people …
I Give Up — The Next Global Disaster Will Be Too Weird to Predict
A decade of unprecedentedly unprecedented times, whatever people are calling it, has put me out of business. If you asked me a decade ago where we’d …
San Diego Named Least Expensive City to Live in the U.S.
Following a rapid decline in rent prices, San Diego fell off of the U.S. News & World Report’s list of most expensive places to live in …
Costco Begins Selling Gilded Gasoline, Celebrated by Members for ‘Unbeatable Bargain Price’
“Panning is so last season. Hand me the siphon,” said one Costco member.Photo by Millie You This summer, Costco began selling 1-ounce pure gold bars online. …
Local Man Buys Clown Shoes,Insists He is “Not A Clown”
Self-described “human adult man” Robert “Bobo” Honkson has once again denied accusations that he is a clown. Recent evidence submitted to San Diego courts was described …
Asteroid the Size of a Large Rock to Pass by Earth
According to NASA, a large asteroid will pass within 2,000,000 football fields of Earth on the night of the banana-shaped crescent moon at approximately three-foot-shadow-length time …
