Lassie Unable to Warn Timmy About 2008 Financial Crisis


Written by: The MQ

In 2008, Timmy Martin from the long-running television series “Lassie,” was about to buy mortgage-backed securities to improve his financial portfolio. Lassie, seeing the shady practices of Wall Street, attempted to warn Timmy by barking, “Bankers are just bundling together high-risk house mortgages and selling them as secure investments. They are handing out mortgages to anyone. The system is at it’s limit, and it’s all about to come crashing down.”

“Don’t be silly, Lassie. Uncle Petrie cannot possibly have fallen in a well,” Timmy reassured. “He died in 1985.” Lassie, noticing her warning barks were falling on deaf ears, tried ripping the papers out of Timmy’s hands.

“What is it, girl? Did the cute neighbor next door fall down a well? Isn’t it a little forward to save someone from a well before asking them out?”

Lassie ruffed louder, saying, “The housing bubble is real. Please do not buy those mortgages. I cannot go back to being a street dog. I’ve never been able to forget those years of my life.”

Timmy, seeing the tears in Lassie’s eyes, noticed something serious was wrong.

“After I go mail some things, let’s go to the park. Who’s a good girl?”
“I am,” Lassie replied in defeat. “Who’s a good girl? I am.”

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