Volume 30 Issue 5
US Military Tours Homeless Encampments for Career Exploration
This is an interesting conundrum,” said a member of the middle class. “I respect the troops, but I hate the homeless.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow This past …
Rising Sea Levels to Extinguish Forest Fires
“Californians were happy that they had no more forest fires — before they all drowned,” said Future Senator Petrol G. Ascot.Photo by Julia Wong Chaos broke …
TikTok Announces Opiate-Based User Retention Strategy
“I can’t believe my friends just take whatever drugs companies push on them,” said one conference attendee, taking a hit from their Juul.Photo by Connor Betterly …
UCSD to Introduce Mini-Triple Rooms
“In this room, my mini fridge looks like a regular fridge,” said Cole Habitation.Photo by Naomika Nadkarni and James Woolley UC San Diego has announced it …
Khosla Converts Audrey Geisel House into Airbnb
“He keeps eating my freaking yogurt,” said one mansion resident.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Since Fall Quarter 2021, UC San Diego has faced an unprecedented housing crisis, …
Supreme Court Votes to Abolish Retirement
“Too many vacation days? Take a vacation straight to interview hell,” said a representative of the US Department of More Labor.Photo by Julia Wong Last week, …
Amazon and Boeing Announce Joint Microtransit Venture
“Still beats flying with United,” said Ahsoak Ingwethi.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Jeff Bezos was flown to the stage by three drones to announce his latest venture, …
SIO Researchers Discover Godzilla off La Jolla Coast
“I always knew my husband was a snack,” said one grieving spouse.Photo by Destiny Friday On March 11, 2024, Scripps Institute of Oceanography researchers on the …
I Am the Hydro Flask That Falls in Your Lecture
I hear people have been complaining about the occasional, small, itty-bitty noise that I make when I fall in your 8 a.m. lecture (it’s not like …
