Volume 22
Updated CAPEs to Include Judgement of Peers
In a sweeping new initiative intended to solve all problems with educational feedback, the evaluations students fill out each quarter at the University of California, San …
White Ann Arbor Child Finds Worm in Apple, Michigan Governor Issues State of Emergency
Late last week, in the wake of the Flint water crisis, Michigan Governor Rick Snyder issued a second state of emergency, after Timmy Smithy-Johnson, son of …
HarperCollins Announces Release of Newly-Discovered Harper Lee “Lost Manuscripts”
In the wake of the recent passing of Harper Lee, author of the classic novel “To Kill a Mockingbird,” the HarperCollins publishing company announced the discovery …
Californians Forced to Choose Between Water and Food, Almonds Win
In a historic referendum late last month, Californians decided that they would rather try to survive without water than go without food. Governor Jerry Brown put …
Catholics Postpone St. Patrick’s Day until after Lent, Plan to Get Drunk Guilt-Free
For the first time in history, the Vatican has selected to change the date of this year’s St. Patrick’s Day from March 17 to March 28, …
LAPD Officers Arrested in LAPD Drug Bust on LAPD Cocaine Stronghold
An enormous drug bust carried out by local authorities in a San Bernadino suburb Monday morning resulted in the seizure of millions of dollars’ worth of …
Badass First Year Skips First Discussion Section of His College Career
When first-year UCSD student David Jones finally found the courage to skip his 8 a.m. Math 10A discussion section last Monday at Warren Lecture Hall, he …
Far Right Calls for End to Annual Migration of Monarch Butterflies
The presidential campaign took yet another interesting turn late last month, as a far-right political party called for a press conference to demand a stop to …
Area Man Recycles, Saves Planet
The eyes of the world were focused on San Diego today, as area man Chase Baron officially saved the planet by recycling his 12-oz can of …
Woman Confused Why There’s a Reporter at Her Door
San Diego resident Claudia Barsetti reportedly answered her door early Tuesday afternoon in a state of confusion to find a newspaper reporter asking her questions about …
