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Missed Quonections

Written by: The MQ

ArticlesTech

Daft Punk Self-Destruction in Desert Leads to Robot Strike

Written by: Andrew Sitko

Upon hearing the news, the Hubble Space Telescope proclaimed, “I can’t believe my optical processors!”Photo by Maria Dhilla The two robots from the hit music duo, Daft …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Builds New Student Parking Lot in Juneau, Alaska

Written by: Yuri Bukhradze

“I can see the Russian studies department from here,” said one student.Photo by Maria Dhilla In an effort to address the lack of proper student parking on …

Uncategorized

Top Ten Ways to Avoid Zoom Calls

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Ways to Avoid Zoom Calls Become a vampire and claim the host never invited you Cultivate an image of yourself as a person who …

Top Ten

Top Ten Worst Reboots and Sequels This Year

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Worst Reboots and Sequels This Year A shot-for-shot remake of “101Dalmatians” titled “Spot the Difference” Another live-action “The Cat in the Hat” The Bible …

Briefs

Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Ways You’re Celebrating Your One Year Anniversary of Quarantining With alcohol Re-dyeing your hair Going on another walk Burning all your masks symbolically and …

Top Ten

Top Ten Top Tens

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten Top Tens Top Ten Reasons the Chickens are Staging a Coup Top Ten Failed Broadway Musicals Top Ten Lesser-Known Crimes That Will Still Get …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Ache of the Hummingbird Muffin

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

By Hummingbird M. UffinPastry-Adjacent Food Item Everyone asks how the food is, but nobody asks HOW the food is. I have endured true struggle in this …

Sunday Comics

The State of America

Written by: Andrew Sitko

An object and scientific analysis of the mechanism behind how “THE LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES AND THEIR GAY AGENDA ARE COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREN!”

Center SpreadFeatures

The MQ Hosts a TEDx Talk

Written by: The MQ

Why You Should Stop Taking Dozens of Personality Tests and Go to Therapy Instead