Top Ten
Top Ten Things That Aren’t Getting Enough Attention Right Now
The clitoris Our LinkedIn profile The nearest exit, which might be behind you The fact that we’ve had two presidents named George Bush This great new …
Top Ten Things You Are Probably Doing That Make You a Horrible Person
Microwaving your food Making any sort of noise in a public place Taking the second-to-last cookie, initiating the final cookie standoff Exhaling carbon dioxide and contributing …
Top Ten New Laws of Physics
Quarks now have genders If you hold your breath, you can look at the sun We’re all puppets controlled by 11th-dimensional strings Left-handed people can now …
Top Ten New Ways to Generate Clean Energy
Top Ten New Ways to Generate Clean Energy Capturing good vibes Plugging a power strip into itself Surrounding the moon with a Dyson sphere Picking up …
Top Ten Candle Scents
Top Ten Candle Scents Teen spirit Burnt toast Freshly cut gas line Your fifth-grade classroom The weird ice in the back of the freezer that your …
Top Ten Things We Learned Not to Talk About at Parties
10. The improv routine that we’ve been practicing9. The types of animals we could beat in hand-to-hand combat8. Why a Hydro Flask is the perfect container …
Top Ten Things We Keep in the Junk Drawer “Just in Case”
10. Four sticks of unsalted butter9. An aged Post-it note showing our one password8. A positive pregnancy test7. An umbrella — we’re saving it for a …
Top Ten Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
10. Cumin9. Do it in bed8. A scoreboard and referee7. Surprise circumcision6. Speaking strictly in early modern English5. An elaborate pulley mechanism that eliminates any need …
Top Ten Activities to Do at 3:12 a.m.
10. Throat shredded cheese9. Queerbait8. Wake up from your 15-hour nap7. Imagine yourself winning an argument6. Learn how to play drums5. Ponder the holes in Lewis’s …
Top Ten Songs from Musk the Musical
Top Ten Songs from Musk the Musical It’s A-Me! Wario! Hyperloop to Hell SpaceX Oddity Do You Wanna Build A Tesla? Careful Whisper (I’m Trying to …
