“Welcome to the first day of class” “I’m giving you my personal email, but I never really check it” “I wrote the textbook” Nothing audible, they …

The bees accept your invite to go out for drinks Bees don’t have a union They don’t always jam the copy machine, like that damn Tom …

Apparently Kinetic Sand is not microwavable It’s the fashion police. You’re under arrest You left someone in your car and you forgot you locked it from …

Using a bat to break a pinata is just too old school You’re interested in making your juggling act more exciting It was on sale so …

All the blood You cleaned too rigorously and dissolved the top of the floor There’s no training wheel equivalent when it comes to property ownership The …

You’re still wearing your letterman jacket four years later Most of your conversations with friends begin with, “Hey, remember that time in precalc…” You occasionally email …

They both failed you Sprung up on you in the middle of your biology class Still surprisingly good at making you feel insecure You have a …

You spent a majority of the time being hopelessly lost Someone keeps playing “Who Let the Dogs Out?” and it stopped being funny hours ago Parking …

Driving five over the speed limit Purposefully stepping on cracks Avoiding having to call your grandparents Competitive sleeping Going outside with wet hair Embezzlement Tightrope walking …

Dim lighting will hide all of your flaws Your cat won’t have any excuse to ignore you Everyone knows that night school is night cool You …