1. Now that you know the exact size of a football field, it’s kind of lost its magic as a unit of measurement
2. In order to get statistically significant results, baseball players have to play 90 innings
3. Global warming means that eventually the only sport left will be water polo
4. It stopped being fun when a zoologist gave you a literal pigskin to play football with
5. Scientists invented concussions
6. Drug testing
7. You can never figure out how much acidball to balance out your baseball
8. They made you use the metric system, so now you have to play 0.3 meterball
9. They forced you to wear that stupid helmet
10. Someone came up with an unethical psychological experiment called golf

1. Why the rent keeps getting higher when people keep getting poorer
2. Why you’re too afraid to ever ask for anything
3. Magnets, how do they work
4. Why people go to med school
5. Where that smell is coming from
6. Why your dad stopped responding to your texts
7. Why you’re tired from 8 A.M. – 8 P.M. but wide awake from 8 P.M. – 8 A.M.
8. Why the smaller the battery size is, the louder it screams
9. Where Cheeto dust comes from
10. Why you’re “not allowed” to drink hydrochloric acid even though there’s acid in your body
11. How Mother Earth retains her curves
12. Why everyone else can’t see the eighth color of the rainbow
13. Why you don’t like healthy food even when it tastes good
14. How they clean all that coal
15. What the fuck a “blue raspberry” is