Top Ten Reasons Nobody is Going For the Turkey Your Mom Made
- It reeked of colonialism
- It’s as dry as her personality
- Everyone in the family is vegetarian
- It’s decorative
- It bites
- The turkey called in sick
- The stuffing your mom used was cotton
- The outside is burnt to a crisp, yet the inside is completely frozen
- Your family named the turkey, and they’re too attached to eat it
- You just don’t have the appetite to eat a whole country
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