Amazon and Boeing Announce Joint Microtransit Venture

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“Still beats flying with United,” said Ahsoak Ingwethi.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Jeff Bezos was flown to the stage by three drones to announce his latest venture, …


I Am the Hydro Flask That Falls in Your Lecture

Written by: Beth Becker

I hear people have been complaining about the occasional, small, itty-bitty noise that I make when I fall in your 8 a.m. lecture (it’s not like …


US Military Tours Homeless Encampments for Career Exploration

Written by: Justin Xu

This is an interesting conundrum,” said a member of the middle class. “I respect the troops, but I hate the homeless.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow This past …


Rising Sea Levels to Extinguish Forest Fires

Written by: James Woolley

“Californians were happy that they had no more forest fires — before they all drowned,” said Future Senator Petrol G. Ascot.Photo by Julia Wong Chaos broke …


UCSD to Introduce Mini-Triple Rooms

Written by: Naomika Nadkarni

“In this room, my mini fridge looks like a regular fridge,” said Cole Habitation.Photo by Naomika Nadkarni and James Woolley UC San Diego has announced it …


Supreme Court Votes to Abolish Retirement

Written by: Victoria Ta

“Too many vacation days? Take a vacation straight to interview hell,” said a representative of the US Department of More Labor.Photo by Julia Wong Last week, …


SIO Researchers Discover Godzilla off La Jolla Coast

Written by: Chris Zhang

“I always knew my husband was a snack,” said one grieving spouse.Photo by Destiny Friday On March 11, 2024, Scripps Institute of Oceanography researchers on the …

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We’ve Got to Do Something about This Rat Problem vs There’s No Such Thing as a ‘Rat Problem’

Written by: Dylan Towner

Folks, we’ve gotta do something about this rat problem. I used to not have a problem with the rats. They were harmless at first. Sometimes, when …


Coca-Cola Unveils New Ad Campaign to Kill the Polar Bears

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski

“Be the climate change you want to see in the world,” said Chief Marketing Officer Klymat Chang.Photo by Amit Roth Beverage giant Coca-Cola announced in a …


HDH Enacts Quarterly Speed Dating Trials

Written by: Sydney Alexander

“The incessant buzzing of the fluorescent lights really sets the mood,” said one student.Photo by James Woolley For the past two quarters, UC San Diego Housing, …