Allowing You to Ride Me for Free Doesn’t Mean I Want Your Sweaty Hands and Feet

Written by: Jessica Wang

Human students of UC San Diego, we have decided it is time for us elevators to rise to the occasion. We opened our doors to kindness, …


Ninth College to Become UCPD’s New Training Center

Written by: Romella Sagatelian

“I wondered why my laptop wasn’t charging,” said one student. “Turns out they arrested my plug.”Photo by Amit Roth and Julia Wong UC San Diego Chancellor …


My Study Abroad Experience Changed My Life and You’re Going to Hear About It Whether You Want to or Not

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

How was my summer? Oh, just incredible! I lived in Italy for two whole months. Yeah, it was a really formative experience. I was in a …


More Wildfires Are Actually Great for Me

Written by: James Woolley

Okay, fine. I admit it. After watching my favorite vacation home go up in flames, there is no denying that climate change is real. Hopefully the …


Library Discovered to Be Full of Facts

Written by: Pranav Reddy

“Wait, gullible is really in here?” said Wu Reeds, sorting through a dictionary.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Researchers at UC San Diego have published a “shocking” result: …


We Have All Been Afflicted With a Curse

Written by: Katie Campbell

Fellow youths, I bring horrible, world-ending news. Our university — nay, our universe itself has been afflicted with a terrible curse. It is the most vile, …


La Jolla Coffee Shop to Require Three-Acre Land Ownership for Restroom Access

Written by: Theo Erickson

“Finally! A place where I can shit in opulence,” said one Sand&Foam guest.Photo by Amit Roth An upcoming amendment to the employee training guide of La …


Salk Researchers Find Chemicals in Water Supply

Written by: Alberto Ruiz

“Chemicals in the water supply? Next thing you know they’ll be putting chemicals in food!” said one parent.Photo by James Woolley In a new report from …

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Price Center Plaza Looks So Good Now! vs Nothing Has Changed

Written by: Connor Betterly

Point: Price Center Plaza Looks So Good Now! Price Center Plaza looks so good now! I love all the construction they are doing. It truly makes …


ExxonMobil Claims Leaving Refrigerators Open Can Solve Climate Change

Written by: Millie You

“Global warming is temporary, but commercial refrigerants are forever,” said ExxonMobil CEO Darren Woods.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala In the wake of this year’s extreme weather, from …