Articles
State to Become Church
“What if thy neighbor is a Democrat?” asked Alito.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following a 233-year-long separation, Church and State reunited in the US Department of Justice …
Bathroom Partitions Unite Partisan Politics
“We may not be able to reach across the isle, but we sure can reach across the stall,”said one bathroom-goer.Photo by Justin Xu Recently, a proposed …
Mexico Renames Mall of America
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Liv Gilbert Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum announced that Mexico will be …
UCSD to Replace Methane Burning Power Plant with Coal
“The ’20s are back! The 1820’s, that is,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Last week, UC San Diego reaffirmed its continued commitment to protecting the …
Democrats Deny Existence of Trump
“It’s pretty crazy that we don’t have a President, but I guess we’ll make do,” said one Democrat.Photo by Dylan Schmidt With Republicans controlling all branches …
The Students v. UC San Diego
“Why do people keep telling me not to Google ‘hung jury’?” asked one juror.Photo by Amit Roth After the filing of a class-action lawsuit in early …
It’s Really Hard Being The Little Stinker of American Law
Listen, in my heart, fundamentally, I’m just a chill guy, you know? I went to Yale, sure, but not in a lame, pretentious way, only because …
Researchers Implant First Entirely Artificial Personality
The Joe Rogan Experience will become available to every US citizen in the coming month.Photo by Jordan Whitlow In what is being called one of the …
UCSD Reports First Cases of Dancing Plague Since 1518
“Shake it off,” advised Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Theo Erickson Amid surges of COVID and mounting cases of H5N1, France recently began reporting individuals engaging in “spontaneous …
Revelle College to Introduce Epistemology Requirement
“We had to write our own textbook,” said HUM 0 student Levah-Mia Lone.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Revelle College has announced that they will add a new …
