Articles
A Proper Wife’s Routine
My alarm rings at 3:57 a.m. sharp. I bolt upright in my twin-size bed, quietly creeping out as to not wake my husband, who slumbers in …
FOX News Goes Extinct
“I quite like the soap-cutting videos,” one middle-aged woman said from a 24 Hour Fitness treadmill. “There’s no pronouns in soap.”Photo by Amit Roth & Jules …
I Need to Keep Renovating
I recently bought a house and with it began a brand new chapter of my life. I’m so excited to live in this big, beautiful home, …
White House Announces New Quarantine Guidelines
“No bulletproof vest for my child, please — they cause autism,” said one anti-vester.Photo by Ezra Bihis & David Muñoz After Saturday’s mass shooting, White House …
National Men’s Day Declared Federal Holiday
Deodorant futures will reportedly plummet.Photo by Abby Offenhauser Following massive uproar on X, formerly known as Twitter, from the newly created “#MenToo” movement, the United States …
I Have Somethin’ Very Important to Say
Listen, I want you to sit down when I tell you this. I’ll wait. Make sure you’re all nice ‘n’ comfy and your seatbelt’s strapped an’ …
Muir College to Become Fifth Student Center
Last week, UC San Diego officials announced to the campus community via email that they were “getting bored” of their ongoing construction projects…
Cicadaman Emerges from Centennial Slumber
“What did they build in New York?” Cicadaman asked. “Some kind of World Trade Center? Cool! I sure hope nothing happened to it!”Photo by Dylan Schmidt …
Canvas Shifts Online Services to Stone Tablets
Economists warn of soon-to-burst tablet bubble.Photo by Amit Roth L ast quarter, Instructure Canvas experienced a 17-hour global outage. Afterward, Instructor Canvas chief executive officer Steve …
School Shooters Now Required to Use Silencers During Exam Season
“Quiet coyotes, everyone!” said one teacher between gunshots.Photo by Amit Roth With SAT and AP testing season rapidly approaching, San Diego Unified School District (SDUSD) has …
