Articles
Take a Break or I’ll Take You Out
I get it: life is hard. But I swear to God I am going to get you if you keep making me feel like shit all …
Muir Introduces School of Life, MQ Office to Be Removed
“Anyone got space for 26 office chairs and a mannequin?” asked one editor.Photo by Amit Roth This year, Muir College debuts its new “School of Life” …
Philippine Political Dynasty Declares Trump ‘Woke’
Trump allegedly plans to annex the Philippines again in a reported “power move.”Photo by Amit Roth Early Monday morning, thousands gathered in Davao City, Philippines for …
Business Department Mandates Monopoly for Course Credit
“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Following a recent survey that revealed that approximately 99.99% …
American Dream Deported
“At least we still have Manifest Destiny,” said Hare.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Leaked internal Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) communications revealed that last week, officers located …
Forks on Roads Increase Traffic
“Silver? Where?” said one driver.Photo by Austin Choy Last month, the Bureau of Accelerating Inland Transportation (BAIT), a recently established California government agency, passed a bill …
Raccoons to Exterminate Pitcher Plants that Exterminate Raccoons
“I’m too smart to fall into a pitcher PLAAAAAAAAAAANT!” said one student.Photo by Jordan Whitlow After a record number of students were offered on-campus housing through …
AI-Run X Accounts Devalue Words, Pictures Now Worth 2000
“Forcing my oomfs to take the Turing Test”, said one X user.Photo by Amit Roth and Claire Cover Twitter, formally known as X, allowed users to …
Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too vs. Huh? I Can’t Hear You Through My AirPods
Point: Traffic Laws Apply to Scooters Too It totally didn’t surprise me last week when I was walking to my 12 p.m. discussion at the top …
