Articles
Trump Discovered to Be Immune to Every Disease, Including ‘Rule of Law’
“That’s right,” Donald Trump said. “My bloodstream rejects all foreign bodies!”Photo by Dylan Towner and Amit Roth Last Tuesday, a “groundbreaking” medical discovery was announced by …
UCSD to Release Anime Featuring John Muir, Roger Revelle as Romantic Leads
“We need another college named after a woman,” said one Archive of Our Own writer. “I need a yuri series next.”Photo by Julia Wong Touted by …
Khosla Declares UCSD Tuition ‘Too Low’
“I’m proud to announce that we no longer have students living under the poverty line,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Justin Xu At a recent press conference, …
Iowa Becomes First Woman-Free State
“How can I be a misogynist when I don’t even miss the women?” asked Governor Mannington.Photo by Amit Roth In the six months following the enactment …
Disney Is a Striking Example of the Proliferation of Capitalism vs Fuck You, I’m Mickey Mouse
POINT: Disney Is a Striking Example of the Proliferation of Capitalism Back in my day, characters could only be owned by a company for about 14 …
Please, Just Let Me Live in the Future
I was born in the wrong generation. Everyone seems to have lost their minds! To let Dogecoin die? To not let Elon Musk into your brain …
Congressional Committee Distracted by Fly
“Kids these days have terrible attention spans… Wait, what’s that?” asked Senator Joe Manchin.Photo by Erica Rosslee A closed-door hearing for the Joint Congressional Committee on …
UCSD’s Campus Is Poorly Designed and Hard to Use vs The Only Thing That’s Hard Is All This Concrete
POINT: UCSD’s Campus Is PoorlyDesigned and Hard to Use Let’s be real. UC San Diego is unnavigable, and we all know it. We’ve all read our …
New Car Headlights to Be Replaced with Floodlights
“Do you guys smell something burning?” asked Sneeth Broth.Photo by Amit Roth Following a study on the light intensity of new car headlights, several car companies, …
ChatGPT Caught Cheating on Student
“I thought we were in an open source relationship!” said ChatGPT.Photo by Julia Wong Navigating multiple deferrals and the students sleeping in their hallways, the Academic …
