Articles
I Can’t Wait For the Free and Fair 2026 Elections!
You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, we’ve all seen it. That little orange thing that’s been all over the news lately. Such a dumb person in …
La Jolla Homesteaders Share Plight
“I love how cottagecore this is!”, said one attendee.Photo by Liv Gilbert Members of La Jolla Homesteading took to the streets this week to oppose public …
UCSD Fertility Dorms to Combat Falling Population Rates
Anonymous sources report that Genesis 38 will soon be added to UCSD’s Principles of Community.Photo by Erica Rosslee In a bold move that university officials are …
Maybe Cool It On the Parties vs. Your Mom Pays Me To Be Your Friend
Point: Maybe Cool It On the Parties Hey, man. I can tell you’ve been pretty stressed about your homework lately. And I get it! Finals season …
Department of Education Opens UC Guantanamo Bay
“Why would I speak up? I’m not a student,” said one community member.Photo by Janice Kim On Tuesday, the Trump administration announced a commitment to a …
College Reveals Experimentation on Caffeine Consumption Limits
“Research log number 58,” said Dr. Melmacchiato. “Patient 437’s blood has become carbonated.”Photo by Dylan Schmidt Leading biochemists Drs. Camille Sinensis and Cara Melmacchiato recently revealed …
American English Makes More Sense Than British English vs. BRITANNIA FOREVER
Point: American English Makes More Sense Than British English Well gee golly, I’m so sorry to be causing a fuss, but I feel it must be …
UCSD Replaces Library Walk with Endlessly Shifting Labyrinth
“I actually graduated six years ago,” said one student found in the depths.Photo by Destiney Friday After several complaints about the congestion on Library Walk, the …
Take a Break or I’ll Take You Out
I get it: life is hard. But I swear to God I am going to get you if you keep making me feel like shit all …
Students Protest Overabundance of Midterms
“Maybe you all should just learn faster,” said one professor.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Recently, UC San Diego’s One Midterm Only movement, took to Library Walk to …
